Today I got called out for something that was:
1) done by someone who I only know in a professional manner and have rarely spoken to outside of a school setting, and
2) done in an entirely rude and flippant way.
I am the type of person who puts up a barrier when things bother me and act like it is no big deal, all the while internalizing and stewing over the comments and dwelling on the harsh words. Instead of speaking up and confronting what is said or done, I silently toil over it for hours afterwards. So today, when this comment was said, I thought about it constantly throughout my meal and contemplated how valid the accusation actually was in my life.
Hear me when I say....It is very healthy for my friends to call me out on things in my life that I need to see more clearly. Sometimes, I get so caught up in my day to day life that I get tunnel-vision and can't see past myself. I can't see the blindspots in my life that are present sometimes and when people are looking in from the outside it is more clear to them. Hebrews chapter 10 directly addresses our need for this in our lives saying "let us spur one another on toward love..."
However, today this comment was made by neither my friend nor was it done out of love. It was coming from a place of annoyance with something that I did, not out of trying to help me see myself more clearly. Tempers were short, words were harsh, and feelings were hurt (mine).
I know that I need to speak up for myself and kindly say thank you but no thank you to the "advice" this person dishes out on my personality. Part of me also is saying to just coin the old phrase and "take it with a grain of salt" and move on. Still, I might dwell on this a while...it's part of my people-pleaser nature. But let it be said that calling someone out is a very healthy, Biblical action that should be done in love by someone you have a relationship with. That, when it is done in love, is when I will heed the warning signs for my life and find a way to fix my personality flaws. Until then, I will be more self-aware about this particular issue and move on...
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
The longer you wait...
The longer you wait....the harder it is to get started back up again.
This is a life lesson that can be applied to all facets of my life: from being productive at work, to working out...and everywhere in between. This statement is as close to absolute truth as I can think of (besides, well...absolute truth).
That is the reason that I have been putting off blogging every time I have thought about it--because I have been away for so long. It is very hard to get back into this, because it has been too long. There's literally no way to update my loyal 6 followers (ha!) what has been going on in my life but that's not stopping me from pushing through and writing.
I am thinking right now about how many things I have put off doing because it would be too hard to get back started with. Right now, I'm going through a lazy season where I don't want to go to the gym. I haven't been in over a month (eeeek!) and I keep telling myself that it will be a hard transition getting back into it. But, just like blogging...the show must go on. It's time to get it together and stop making excuses.
...hope you didn't have high expectations for this first blog post back in action. I'm a little rusty. Thanks for giving me some grace.
This is a life lesson that can be applied to all facets of my life: from being productive at work, to working out...and everywhere in between. This statement is as close to absolute truth as I can think of (besides, well...absolute truth).
That is the reason that I have been putting off blogging every time I have thought about it--because I have been away for so long. It is very hard to get back into this, because it has been too long. There's literally no way to update my loyal 6 followers (ha!) what has been going on in my life but that's not stopping me from pushing through and writing.
I am thinking right now about how many things I have put off doing because it would be too hard to get back started with. Right now, I'm going through a lazy season where I don't want to go to the gym. I haven't been in over a month (eeeek!) and I keep telling myself that it will be a hard transition getting back into it. But, just like blogging...the show must go on. It's time to get it together and stop making excuses.
...hope you didn't have high expectations for this first blog post back in action. I'm a little rusty. Thanks for giving me some grace.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Tonight, I'm going to read.
Tonight, I'm going to read. An actual book.
Not a blog. Not a facebook post. Not a tweet. Not EVEN a child's writing or any form of email from school. I'm mere minutes away from crawling into bed (yes, while the sun has not even set) and snuggle up with a book. I'm going to let the DVR do the hard work tonight and take a night to unplug.
I have SO many books in my "line-up" to read next:
...now let me go before I fall asleep even THINKING about my cozy bed. Or think about how long of a day it has been (btw, today was the first day of school!!!! so fun!)
Peace and blessin's.
Not a blog. Not a facebook post. Not a tweet. Not EVEN a child's writing or any form of email from school. I'm mere minutes away from crawling into bed (yes, while the sun has not even set) and snuggle up with a book. I'm going to let the DVR do the hard work tonight and take a night to unplug.
I have SO many books in my "line-up" to read next:
- The Help (obvious choice, but I started it in May and then got overwhelmed and had to abandon it.)
- The Hunger Games trilogy
- A huge assortment of novels my mom gave me by Sheryl Woods, an author who I got hooked on this summer. She writes sappy, cliche' romance books that I literally eat through in a day or two. Lucky for me there are a bajillion of them I still have to read.
- Save the Date by Jenny B. Jones (not going to lie, I stumbled upon this book title after I had the inspiration to write a series of books with the same title as my opening book...that was in my "wedding season" of life)
...now let me go before I fall asleep even THINKING about my cozy bed. Or think about how long of a day it has been (btw, today was the first day of school!!!! so fun!)
Peace and blessin's.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
M.I.A. for 3 months
My last post about me losing my job was right in the midst of a storm in my life. It was not a major one, but nonetheless, it was a hard month. I'm happy to report that it ends well...and I will remain at my same school and just move to a new grade. Long, dramatic story, but so thankful to be in the same place with friendships that I'm just starting to develop!
I'm looking forward to reflecting on my summer at a later date, but let's just say that my summer at Greystone was so sweet. I am filled with love for that place and have had so much fun this summer playing and serving. It was just GOOD! Whew. Like I said, I can't wait to reflect on it and what the Lord did.
I left Columbia at the beginning of June and did not return until August 1st...two whole months away were good for the soul. Being surrounded by uplifting and encouraging friends while in the happiest place on Earth (I don't care what Disney World says) was just what the doctor ordered. I was able to pour myself out all summer in a much different way than I do throughout the school year, and then I was able to get filled by the spirit and learn from some wonderful pastors.
Getting back into the swing of things now has been more challenging than I expected. Moving grade levels and changing classrooms was a bigger hurdle than I remembered from when I first started out, and I'm finding myself more exhausted than I planned on being. Transitioning out of the "camp mode" has also been harder than I remembered...it's almost a sadness that just lingers in my heart for a little while. It's not evident on the outside, but there just is something about the void from camp that is hard to explain.
Luckily, I am made whole and complete in the Lord. He blessed me with the gift of camp, and with my job, and I am going to use the inspiration from Colossians as I move into this week: "23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord.."
Serving the Lord with gladness as I move into this week. "It's a great day and I feel terrific..."
 |
| My crazy students last year. |
I'm looking forward to reflecting on my summer at a later date, but let's just say that my summer at Greystone was so sweet. I am filled with love for that place and have had so much fun this summer playing and serving. It was just GOOD! Whew. Like I said, I can't wait to reflect on it and what the Lord did.
I left Columbia at the beginning of June and did not return until August 1st...two whole months away were good for the soul. Being surrounded by uplifting and encouraging friends while in the happiest place on Earth (I don't care what Disney World says) was just what the doctor ordered. I was able to pour myself out all summer in a much different way than I do throughout the school year, and then I was able to get filled by the spirit and learn from some wonderful pastors.
Getting back into the swing of things now has been more challenging than I expected. Moving grade levels and changing classrooms was a bigger hurdle than I remembered from when I first started out, and I'm finding myself more exhausted than I planned on being. Transitioning out of the "camp mode" has also been harder than I remembered...it's almost a sadness that just lingers in my heart for a little while. It's not evident on the outside, but there just is something about the void from camp that is hard to explain.
Luckily, I am made whole and complete in the Lord. He blessed me with the gift of camp, and with my job, and I am going to use the inspiration from Colossians as I move into this week: "23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord.."
Serving the Lord with gladness as I move into this week. "It's a great day and I feel terrific..."
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Job Transfer
I. love. my. job.
Teaching 3rd grade never gets old, and no day is ever the same.
In fact, it's hard to consider what I do a "job" sometimes because I feel like I love what I do so much that I would probably still do it on a volunteer status. Ok...maybe THAT is a little extreme, but I do really enjoy working with kids.
I have SO many funny stories of things that my students have said. They all make for good material in conversations.
One negative about my job right now is that I am "lowest on the totem pole", so to speak, and have recently found out that I cannot stay at my school next year because of budget issues (insert a box of tissues in this spot...major bummer). I was told 3 weeks ago, however, that I would be transferred within the school district to another school. I was told it would be a transfer to another 3rd grade job. I felt ok about that...at least I didn't have to worry about losing all the resources I had built up the past two years, right? WRONG.
Monday rocked my world a little bit when I met with the principal at my "new" school and was told that there was not a position available there, and if one became available it would be 4th or 2nd grades. On Tuesday, I was emailed by another principal at school #3 and asked to come in...and in a complete flashback to 2009, I was asked to interview at that school instead of doing a simple "transfer". An hour and a half later, I was back to where I started from without having a position secured. I'm going to visit their school tomorrow during the school day to see if it would be something I feel equip to handle, because this school is a Title 1 school in a bad area.
Throughout this week my emotions have been tossed back and forth more times than a ping pong ball in an Asian table tennis tournament. Right now, I'm floating between being moved to one of 2 options, all the while praying that the numbers settle out and I can stay at my school now. Man, I would like to not have to move all my stuff.
Knowing that the Lord is faithful, I am putting my trust in the fact that He has something planned for me. Whether a position opens back up at my school now, or He picks out a new adventure, He is in control. My friend, Alice, said to me on the phone tonight, "God's either opening up your eyes so you'll appreciate where you are or He has an opportunity somewhere else for you." Wise friend, good advice.
Stepping back from it and praying tonight for this to come together and for clarity.
Teaching 3rd grade never gets old, and no day is ever the same.
In fact, it's hard to consider what I do a "job" sometimes because I feel like I love what I do so much that I would probably still do it on a volunteer status. Ok...maybe THAT is a little extreme, but I do really enjoy working with kids.
I have SO many funny stories of things that my students have said. They all make for good material in conversations.
One negative about my job right now is that I am "lowest on the totem pole", so to speak, and have recently found out that I cannot stay at my school next year because of budget issues (insert a box of tissues in this spot...major bummer). I was told 3 weeks ago, however, that I would be transferred within the school district to another school. I was told it would be a transfer to another 3rd grade job. I felt ok about that...at least I didn't have to worry about losing all the resources I had built up the past two years, right? WRONG.
Monday rocked my world a little bit when I met with the principal at my "new" school and was told that there was not a position available there, and if one became available it would be 4th or 2nd grades. On Tuesday, I was emailed by another principal at school #3 and asked to come in...and in a complete flashback to 2009, I was asked to interview at that school instead of doing a simple "transfer". An hour and a half later, I was back to where I started from without having a position secured. I'm going to visit their school tomorrow during the school day to see if it would be something I feel equip to handle, because this school is a Title 1 school in a bad area.
Throughout this week my emotions have been tossed back and forth more times than a ping pong ball in an Asian table tennis tournament. Right now, I'm floating between being moved to one of 2 options, all the while praying that the numbers settle out and I can stay at my school now. Man, I would like to not have to move all my stuff.
Knowing that the Lord is faithful, I am putting my trust in the fact that He has something planned for me. Whether a position opens back up at my school now, or He picks out a new adventure, He is in control. My friend, Alice, said to me on the phone tonight, "God's either opening up your eyes so you'll appreciate where you are or He has an opportunity somewhere else for you." Wise friend, good advice.
Stepping back from it and praying tonight for this to come together and for clarity.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Hugz
Not in a creepy way, but I just really think a good hug is so comforting. It's something I have grown into loving throughout the years.
I have 2 students this year who are all about the hug-action. At the end of every day, I can guarantee that they will find me and give me a big bear hug. Sweet angels.
This is literally a post on how much I enjoy hugs. And now it is over.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Wedding Season
John: What do you like better, Christmas or Wedding Season? [Jeremy raises his hand]
Mr. Grey?
Jermey: Yes. The answer would be, um, Wedding Season?
Wedding season.
This has been the theme of the past year of my life, and I feel like I'm stuck in the season of my life affectionately called "wedding season." In 2010, I was invited to 11 weddings. If you started counting last May, I have been invited to a wedding every month for an entire calendar year (with the exception of January '11). I have only been involved in two of these personally, which I'm thankful for in comparison to Wimberly Brown who has shelled out some serious cash money for her friends' big days. Nonetheless, calligraphy scripted envelopes have overflowed my mailbox and counter tops. I've become a professional at printing out registries and I have enjoyed hearing a variety of cheesy DJ's throughout this past year. In retrospect, it's all quite exhausting.
This period of life, along with my not-so-secret obsession with all things "wedding" (thanks TLC for fueling my passions with re-runs), had led me to a few conclusions:
1) Wedding receptions are more for the people attending than the couple. This is displayed by the insane amount of money people are willing to pay "per head" and how little the couple actually gets to enjoy.
2) Wedding ceremonies last less than 30 minutes on average. This is great, unless you think about how much time and preparation goes into the ceremony and how quickly it passes. (note to self: don't sweat the small stuff and keep it simple)
3) Live bands can be hit or miss. Same rule applies with DJ's, however.
4) Seating is necessary at the reception. It gets awkward when there isn't enough room for everyone to sit and people have to hover with food.
5) Full open bars are only a good idea if the reception is held where the majority of people are staying--or if there is a shuttle back to the hotel. Otherwise, chaos ensues. This is a fact of most weddings.
6) Dresses with beautiful trains are absolutely stunning, yet 100% impractical.
7) Dresses that are strapless need to have boning in them so you do not have to constantly pull the dress up all night.
8) Having a game plan for the entrance into the reception is clutch. Walking in and not knowing what to do when you get inside is awkward.
There are many, many more thoughts that I have on wedding ceremonies and receptions (and generally just overall wedding weekend activities) but I'll spare you of the lengthy version.
All that to say, this season of my life has obviously gotten me thinking about my big day one day. If I'm honest with myself, at this point in my life, all I want is a WEDDING. I am not ready for the next step and actually having a MARRIAGE. At least not now, obviously, since my date card is wide open and there are no prospects. Even if I did have someone special in my life, I would not be prepared to have more than a wedding at this point. I'm utterly selfish, hopelessly messy, and not prepared to be some one's WIFE and have someone else depend on me 24/7. Frankly, the thought of that right now freaks me out.
Then...knowing that...why is it that I think so much about meeting someone and getting married? I have had to look at my desires and think really long and hard about my motivations for dating someone. Is it that I want to date someone to potentially have a WEDDING, or do I want to date someone so I can be their WIFE, forever ? This has been something I have been thinking about a lot lately. While my ultimate heart's desire IS to be a wife and mother one day, at this point in my life I cannot fathom it. So, dear heart of mine, slow down and pump the brakes. Stop romanticizing things. Enjoy this season of loving on my friends during THEIR times, and love well. Things will happen in the season they are supposed to, and God will provide.
Mr. Grey?
Jermey: Yes. The answer would be, um, Wedding Season?
Wedding season.
This has been the theme of the past year of my life, and I feel like I'm stuck in the season of my life affectionately called "wedding season." In 2010, I was invited to 11 weddings. If you started counting last May, I have been invited to a wedding every month for an entire calendar year (with the exception of January '11). I have only been involved in two of these personally, which I'm thankful for in comparison to Wimberly Brown who has shelled out some serious cash money for her friends' big days. Nonetheless, calligraphy scripted envelopes have overflowed my mailbox and counter tops. I've become a professional at printing out registries and I have enjoyed hearing a variety of cheesy DJ's throughout this past year. In retrospect, it's all quite exhausting.
This period of life, along with my not-so-secret obsession with all things "wedding" (thanks TLC for fueling my passions with re-runs), had led me to a few conclusions:
1) Wedding receptions are more for the people attending than the couple. This is displayed by the insane amount of money people are willing to pay "per head" and how little the couple actually gets to enjoy.
2) Wedding ceremonies last less than 30 minutes on average. This is great, unless you think about how much time and preparation goes into the ceremony and how quickly it passes. (note to self: don't sweat the small stuff and keep it simple)
3) Live bands can be hit or miss. Same rule applies with DJ's, however.
4) Seating is necessary at the reception. It gets awkward when there isn't enough room for everyone to sit and people have to hover with food.
5) Full open bars are only a good idea if the reception is held where the majority of people are staying--or if there is a shuttle back to the hotel. Otherwise, chaos ensues. This is a fact of most weddings.
6) Dresses with beautiful trains are absolutely stunning, yet 100% impractical.
7) Dresses that are strapless need to have boning in them so you do not have to constantly pull the dress up all night.
8) Having a game plan for the entrance into the reception is clutch. Walking in and not knowing what to do when you get inside is awkward.
There are many, many more thoughts that I have on wedding ceremonies and receptions (and generally just overall wedding weekend activities) but I'll spare you of the lengthy version.
All that to say, this season of my life has obviously gotten me thinking about my big day one day. If I'm honest with myself, at this point in my life, all I want is a WEDDING. I am not ready for the next step and actually having a MARRIAGE. At least not now, obviously, since my date card is wide open and there are no prospects. Even if I did have someone special in my life, I would not be prepared to have more than a wedding at this point. I'm utterly selfish, hopelessly messy, and not prepared to be some one's WIFE and have someone else depend on me 24/7. Frankly, the thought of that right now freaks me out.
Then...knowing that...why is it that I think so much about meeting someone and getting married? I have had to look at my desires and think really long and hard about my motivations for dating someone. Is it that I want to date someone to potentially have a WEDDING, or do I want to date someone so I can be their WIFE, forever ? This has been something I have been thinking about a lot lately. While my ultimate heart's desire IS to be a wife and mother one day, at this point in my life I cannot fathom it. So, dear heart of mine, slow down and pump the brakes. Stop romanticizing things. Enjoy this season of loving on my friends during THEIR times, and love well. Things will happen in the season they are supposed to, and God will provide.
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