Last night at church after the first few worship songs were sung and it was time to settle our hearts, there was 2 minutes of time just to BE STILL and pray. This time was precious, and allowed me to get the distractions away and out of my mind from the day.
Here's a little bit of how my prayer during that time went, though...
"Lord, help me get ready to hear what you will say. Be with me during this time and let me learn all I can. Allow me to focus. Help me...be with me...do things for me...." and the prayer went like that for the whole prayer. At no point did I ask the Lord to really rid me of myself and come in on my behalf. At no point was I asking the Lord to take over my thoughts and make them His. It was incredibly self-centered... and even as I was praying I got sick of hearing "me, me, me."
Was my prayer wrong? NO. But did I need to check myself and see what my motives were for being there? YES! Did I want it to all be about me, or did I want to learn so I could advance the kingdom? The answer was: me. I love the song "Lead me to the Cross" because of the line, "rid me of myself, I belong to you. Oh lead me, lead me to the cross."
John 3:30"He must increase, but I must decrease."
Working on being less "me" centered and making it more about Him. Dang, I'm selfish.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Sunday, October 30, 2011
It's the most wonderful time of the year!
It's the most WONDERFUL time of the year!
This time of the year is, without a doubt, my favorite time to be alive. While I often find myself living for the summer (which is true) this time of the year is phenomenal. All things wonderful culminate during this period of the year:
My challenge, and maybe it's also your challenge, is to not get so caught up in looking ahead towards Christmas that I miss the moment. Also, don't get so caught up in the routine of life that you forget to LIVE. Soak up the crisp air and enjoy this season. It really is the most wonderful time of the year!
This time of the year is, without a doubt, my favorite time to be alive. While I often find myself living for the summer (which is true) this time of the year is phenomenal. All things wonderful culminate during this period of the year:
- the leaves are at the peak of their beauty
- football season is at the best part of the schedule
- Halloween candy goes on sale
- Browns, oranges, and deep mustard yellows can be seen throughout every store (minus those stores who decide to skip Thanksgiving all together and move right into the red and green color palette)
- the school year is getting settled into a routine
- my family gets to see each other more often
My challenge, and maybe it's also your challenge, is to not get so caught up in looking ahead towards Christmas that I miss the moment. Also, don't get so caught up in the routine of life that you forget to LIVE. Soak up the crisp air and enjoy this season. It really is the most wonderful time of the year!
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Getting called out...
Today I got called out for something that was:
1) done by someone who I only know in a professional manner and have rarely spoken to outside of a school setting, and
2) done in an entirely rude and flippant way.
I am the type of person who puts up a barrier when things bother me and act like it is no big deal, all the while internalizing and stewing over the comments and dwelling on the harsh words. Instead of speaking up and confronting what is said or done, I silently toil over it for hours afterwards. So today, when this comment was said, I thought about it constantly throughout my meal and contemplated how valid the accusation actually was in my life.
Hear me when I say....It is very healthy for my friends to call me out on things in my life that I need to see more clearly. Sometimes, I get so caught up in my day to day life that I get tunnel-vision and can't see past myself. I can't see the blindspots in my life that are present sometimes and when people are looking in from the outside it is more clear to them. Hebrews chapter 10 directly addresses our need for this in our lives saying "let us spur one another on toward love..."
However, today this comment was made by neither my friend nor was it done out of love. It was coming from a place of annoyance with something that I did, not out of trying to help me see myself more clearly. Tempers were short, words were harsh, and feelings were hurt (mine).
I know that I need to speak up for myself and kindly say thank you but no thank you to the "advice" this person dishes out on my personality. Part of me also is saying to just coin the old phrase and "take it with a grain of salt" and move on. Still, I might dwell on this a while...it's part of my people-pleaser nature. But let it be said that calling someone out is a very healthy, Biblical action that should be done in love by someone you have a relationship with. That, when it is done in love, is when I will heed the warning signs for my life and find a way to fix my personality flaws. Until then, I will be more self-aware about this particular issue and move on...
1) done by someone who I only know in a professional manner and have rarely spoken to outside of a school setting, and
2) done in an entirely rude and flippant way.
I am the type of person who puts up a barrier when things bother me and act like it is no big deal, all the while internalizing and stewing over the comments and dwelling on the harsh words. Instead of speaking up and confronting what is said or done, I silently toil over it for hours afterwards. So today, when this comment was said, I thought about it constantly throughout my meal and contemplated how valid the accusation actually was in my life.
Hear me when I say....It is very healthy for my friends to call me out on things in my life that I need to see more clearly. Sometimes, I get so caught up in my day to day life that I get tunnel-vision and can't see past myself. I can't see the blindspots in my life that are present sometimes and when people are looking in from the outside it is more clear to them. Hebrews chapter 10 directly addresses our need for this in our lives saying "let us spur one another on toward love..."
However, today this comment was made by neither my friend nor was it done out of love. It was coming from a place of annoyance with something that I did, not out of trying to help me see myself more clearly. Tempers were short, words were harsh, and feelings were hurt (mine).
I know that I need to speak up for myself and kindly say thank you but no thank you to the "advice" this person dishes out on my personality. Part of me also is saying to just coin the old phrase and "take it with a grain of salt" and move on. Still, I might dwell on this a while...it's part of my people-pleaser nature. But let it be said that calling someone out is a very healthy, Biblical action that should be done in love by someone you have a relationship with. That, when it is done in love, is when I will heed the warning signs for my life and find a way to fix my personality flaws. Until then, I will be more self-aware about this particular issue and move on...
Thursday, October 20, 2011
The longer you wait...
The longer you wait....the harder it is to get started back up again.
This is a life lesson that can be applied to all facets of my life: from being productive at work, to working out...and everywhere in between. This statement is as close to absolute truth as I can think of (besides, well...absolute truth).
That is the reason that I have been putting off blogging every time I have thought about it--because I have been away for so long. It is very hard to get back into this, because it has been too long. There's literally no way to update my loyal 6 followers (ha!) what has been going on in my life but that's not stopping me from pushing through and writing.
I am thinking right now about how many things I have put off doing because it would be too hard to get back started with. Right now, I'm going through a lazy season where I don't want to go to the gym. I haven't been in over a month (eeeek!) and I keep telling myself that it will be a hard transition getting back into it. But, just like blogging...the show must go on. It's time to get it together and stop making excuses.
...hope you didn't have high expectations for this first blog post back in action. I'm a little rusty. Thanks for giving me some grace.
This is a life lesson that can be applied to all facets of my life: from being productive at work, to working out...and everywhere in between. This statement is as close to absolute truth as I can think of (besides, well...absolute truth).
That is the reason that I have been putting off blogging every time I have thought about it--because I have been away for so long. It is very hard to get back into this, because it has been too long. There's literally no way to update my loyal 6 followers (ha!) what has been going on in my life but that's not stopping me from pushing through and writing.
I am thinking right now about how many things I have put off doing because it would be too hard to get back started with. Right now, I'm going through a lazy season where I don't want to go to the gym. I haven't been in over a month (eeeek!) and I keep telling myself that it will be a hard transition getting back into it. But, just like blogging...the show must go on. It's time to get it together and stop making excuses.
...hope you didn't have high expectations for this first blog post back in action. I'm a little rusty. Thanks for giving me some grace.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Tonight, I'm going to read.
Tonight, I'm going to read. An actual book.
Not a blog. Not a facebook post. Not a tweet. Not EVEN a child's writing or any form of email from school. I'm mere minutes away from crawling into bed (yes, while the sun has not even set) and snuggle up with a book. I'm going to let the DVR do the hard work tonight and take a night to unplug.
I have SO many books in my "line-up" to read next:
...now let me go before I fall asleep even THINKING about my cozy bed. Or think about how long of a day it has been (btw, today was the first day of school!!!! so fun!)
Peace and blessin's.
Not a blog. Not a facebook post. Not a tweet. Not EVEN a child's writing or any form of email from school. I'm mere minutes away from crawling into bed (yes, while the sun has not even set) and snuggle up with a book. I'm going to let the DVR do the hard work tonight and take a night to unplug.
I have SO many books in my "line-up" to read next:
- The Help (obvious choice, but I started it in May and then got overwhelmed and had to abandon it.)
- The Hunger Games trilogy
- A huge assortment of novels my mom gave me by Sheryl Woods, an author who I got hooked on this summer. She writes sappy, cliche' romance books that I literally eat through in a day or two. Lucky for me there are a bajillion of them I still have to read.
- Save the Date by Jenny B. Jones (not going to lie, I stumbled upon this book title after I had the inspiration to write a series of books with the same title as my opening book...that was in my "wedding season" of life)
...now let me go before I fall asleep even THINKING about my cozy bed. Or think about how long of a day it has been (btw, today was the first day of school!!!! so fun!)
Peace and blessin's.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
M.I.A. for 3 months
My last post about me losing my job was right in the midst of a storm in my life. It was not a major one, but nonetheless, it was a hard month. I'm happy to report that it ends well...and I will remain at my same school and just move to a new grade. Long, dramatic story, but so thankful to be in the same place with friendships that I'm just starting to develop!
I'm looking forward to reflecting on my summer at a later date, but let's just say that my summer at Greystone was so sweet. I am filled with love for that place and have had so much fun this summer playing and serving. It was just GOOD! Whew. Like I said, I can't wait to reflect on it and what the Lord did.
I left Columbia at the beginning of June and did not return until August 1st...two whole months away were good for the soul. Being surrounded by uplifting and encouraging friends while in the happiest place on Earth (I don't care what Disney World says) was just what the doctor ordered. I was able to pour myself out all summer in a much different way than I do throughout the school year, and then I was able to get filled by the spirit and learn from some wonderful pastors.
Getting back into the swing of things now has been more challenging than I expected. Moving grade levels and changing classrooms was a bigger hurdle than I remembered from when I first started out, and I'm finding myself more exhausted than I planned on being. Transitioning out of the "camp mode" has also been harder than I remembered...it's almost a sadness that just lingers in my heart for a little while. It's not evident on the outside, but there just is something about the void from camp that is hard to explain.
Luckily, I am made whole and complete in the Lord. He blessed me with the gift of camp, and with my job, and I am going to use the inspiration from Colossians as I move into this week: "23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord.."
Serving the Lord with gladness as I move into this week. "It's a great day and I feel terrific..."
 |
| My crazy students last year. |
I'm looking forward to reflecting on my summer at a later date, but let's just say that my summer at Greystone was so sweet. I am filled with love for that place and have had so much fun this summer playing and serving. It was just GOOD! Whew. Like I said, I can't wait to reflect on it and what the Lord did.
I left Columbia at the beginning of June and did not return until August 1st...two whole months away were good for the soul. Being surrounded by uplifting and encouraging friends while in the happiest place on Earth (I don't care what Disney World says) was just what the doctor ordered. I was able to pour myself out all summer in a much different way than I do throughout the school year, and then I was able to get filled by the spirit and learn from some wonderful pastors.
Getting back into the swing of things now has been more challenging than I expected. Moving grade levels and changing classrooms was a bigger hurdle than I remembered from when I first started out, and I'm finding myself more exhausted than I planned on being. Transitioning out of the "camp mode" has also been harder than I remembered...it's almost a sadness that just lingers in my heart for a little while. It's not evident on the outside, but there just is something about the void from camp that is hard to explain.
Luckily, I am made whole and complete in the Lord. He blessed me with the gift of camp, and with my job, and I am going to use the inspiration from Colossians as I move into this week: "23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord.."
Serving the Lord with gladness as I move into this week. "It's a great day and I feel terrific..."
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Job Transfer
I. love. my. job.
Teaching 3rd grade never gets old, and no day is ever the same.
In fact, it's hard to consider what I do a "job" sometimes because I feel like I love what I do so much that I would probably still do it on a volunteer status. Ok...maybe THAT is a little extreme, but I do really enjoy working with kids.
I have SO many funny stories of things that my students have said. They all make for good material in conversations.
One negative about my job right now is that I am "lowest on the totem pole", so to speak, and have recently found out that I cannot stay at my school next year because of budget issues (insert a box of tissues in this spot...major bummer). I was told 3 weeks ago, however, that I would be transferred within the school district to another school. I was told it would be a transfer to another 3rd grade job. I felt ok about that...at least I didn't have to worry about losing all the resources I had built up the past two years, right? WRONG.
Monday rocked my world a little bit when I met with the principal at my "new" school and was told that there was not a position available there, and if one became available it would be 4th or 2nd grades. On Tuesday, I was emailed by another principal at school #3 and asked to come in...and in a complete flashback to 2009, I was asked to interview at that school instead of doing a simple "transfer". An hour and a half later, I was back to where I started from without having a position secured. I'm going to visit their school tomorrow during the school day to see if it would be something I feel equip to handle, because this school is a Title 1 school in a bad area.
Throughout this week my emotions have been tossed back and forth more times than a ping pong ball in an Asian table tennis tournament. Right now, I'm floating between being moved to one of 2 options, all the while praying that the numbers settle out and I can stay at my school now. Man, I would like to not have to move all my stuff.
Knowing that the Lord is faithful, I am putting my trust in the fact that He has something planned for me. Whether a position opens back up at my school now, or He picks out a new adventure, He is in control. My friend, Alice, said to me on the phone tonight, "God's either opening up your eyes so you'll appreciate where you are or He has an opportunity somewhere else for you." Wise friend, good advice.
Stepping back from it and praying tonight for this to come together and for clarity.
Teaching 3rd grade never gets old, and no day is ever the same.
In fact, it's hard to consider what I do a "job" sometimes because I feel like I love what I do so much that I would probably still do it on a volunteer status. Ok...maybe THAT is a little extreme, but I do really enjoy working with kids.
I have SO many funny stories of things that my students have said. They all make for good material in conversations.
One negative about my job right now is that I am "lowest on the totem pole", so to speak, and have recently found out that I cannot stay at my school next year because of budget issues (insert a box of tissues in this spot...major bummer). I was told 3 weeks ago, however, that I would be transferred within the school district to another school. I was told it would be a transfer to another 3rd grade job. I felt ok about that...at least I didn't have to worry about losing all the resources I had built up the past two years, right? WRONG.
Monday rocked my world a little bit when I met with the principal at my "new" school and was told that there was not a position available there, and if one became available it would be 4th or 2nd grades. On Tuesday, I was emailed by another principal at school #3 and asked to come in...and in a complete flashback to 2009, I was asked to interview at that school instead of doing a simple "transfer". An hour and a half later, I was back to where I started from without having a position secured. I'm going to visit their school tomorrow during the school day to see if it would be something I feel equip to handle, because this school is a Title 1 school in a bad area.
Throughout this week my emotions have been tossed back and forth more times than a ping pong ball in an Asian table tennis tournament. Right now, I'm floating between being moved to one of 2 options, all the while praying that the numbers settle out and I can stay at my school now. Man, I would like to not have to move all my stuff.
Knowing that the Lord is faithful, I am putting my trust in the fact that He has something planned for me. Whether a position opens back up at my school now, or He picks out a new adventure, He is in control. My friend, Alice, said to me on the phone tonight, "God's either opening up your eyes so you'll appreciate where you are or He has an opportunity somewhere else for you." Wise friend, good advice.
Stepping back from it and praying tonight for this to come together and for clarity.
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